Why Chivalry is Dying and Tips For Being A Gentleman
Why the Gentleman Is Near Extinction
There is a lot of talk these days about how the modern man lacks the necessary skills to be a gentleman. In fact, some say that "chivalry" has been lost. I'm here to tell you that there are still true gentleman in this world. They're just harder to find.
Lets look at the definitions of what it means to be a Gentleman as well as Chivalrous.
Gentleman: a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
Chivalry: the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight(man), especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak..
Being a Gentleman is not only subject to "knights" in medieval times and men in uniform, but its a trait that every man should hold dearly. Sadly, its a trait that most men have lost.
Why have we lost site on what it means to be a gentleman? I believe there are a few reasons.
1. Parenting. Parenting is the basis for how all kids grow up. In America we've come to know divorce all to well. According to MckinleyIrvin.com, The average marriage in the US is eight years! That's startling! And whats more, is that the average age of divorce is 30 years old. Most parents are having children in their mid-twenties and with the average age of divorce being so young, that leaves children being raised by a single parent at a very young age often without the presence of a father to instill important life skills into the child, assuming that father was a gentleman himself.
2. Discipline. The United States of America has gotten soft and so have parents. With such strong discipline laws in this country, it has made it very hard for the parents to teach their kids that certain actions have consequences. I was raised in a dying era. An era that, if you did not listen to your father you got swat on the butt, and if you didn't listen to your mother you got a swat on the butt when you father got home from work.
When I was a kid manners were very important. Especially when it came to table manners. For instance, If I smacked my lips while eating at the table I'd get smacked upside the head and told to stop. If I reached over someone elses plate of food to grab a salt/pepper shaker I'd get my hand slapped.
What I did at the dinner table may not seem discipline worthy now'a days, but when I was a child, doing those things at the dinner table was considered disrespectful. Today, these ways of discipline would be looked down upon. Go to a restaurant and observe the poor table manners of today's youth.
3. Media. The news, internet, and hollywood have really corrupted todays youth. With reality tv shows that have a single purpose of hooking people up just to have sex, and the internet just basted with free porn for the world to see, as well as news outlets and satire magazines like "Esquire" providing filth in every supermarket, todays kids are getting a false sense of not only reality.
The problem is, is that kids today, both male and female, have a false perception of what "chivalry" is and what is expected of a gentlemen. I blame this downfall purely on the three reasons I listed.
Be The MAN in Gentleman : Courtship Tips
Sometimes its just the little things that count. Being a gentleman and showing chivalry doesn't mean going over the top and spending lots of money. It's about making sure she is taken care of first before you take care of yourself. She's the princess. Not you.
1. Hold/Open The Door For Your Woman.
Plain and simply shows your woman that she is first and that you put her before yourself. All too often I see families and couples walk into a restaurant and the first one through the door is dad and/or the boyfriend.
2. Place Yourself Nearest The Street When Walking.
You are her protector. Willing to put yourself between her and danger.
3. Pull a Chair Out For Her And Let Her Sit First.
Again, this is just tells her that you are putting her first, before yourself.
4. Compliment Her.
Since she takes the time to get ready, you better acknowledge her by complimenting on what she is wearing or the smell of her perfume.
5. Hang Her Jacket For Her.
A Gentleman will hang up his lady's jacket. Don't let her wear a wet jacket or struggle to find a place to put it.
6. Gives his seat up.
A Gentleman will not sit and leave his lady standing when there is only standing room available.
7. Pick Up The Check.
A Gentleman pays for the date. No matter if you've been married and feel comfortable with your better half. Date nights are for both of you, but a princess never pays.
8. Make Sure She Gets Home Safe.
A Gentleman will keep his lady safe from the minute they leave the house until the moment they return.
Chivalry is not dead and the time of the Gentleman is not extinct. It's just that, with todays culture, media, and government, a gentleman is not only harder to find in this day and age, but its more difficult to raise one as well.